Trying on hats

I've always wished I were a dominatrix.  I think I'd love the power of ordering someone around, having him/her get satisfaction from pleasing and serving me.  I fantasize about being a dominatrix with a really hot submissive man who worships me.  I imagine having him feed me, shave me, tying him up and teasing/torturing him in some way that makes eventual the eventual climax that much better.  The power sounds delicious in theory.  I even think it'd be great to go by Mistress Lexi.  But it's just not me.
Whenever I've actually been placed in the dom role I end up worrying I'm actually hurting the guy, wishing he'd just tell me what to do or not being patient enough to tease him to the breaking point.
I'm good at being a sub though.  I've been embracing this more and more recently.  I think it took me a long time to realize that some degree of S&M are present in most relationships, inside the limits of what the individuals define as "safe, sane and consensual" (cornerstones of the practice).  Realizing that power dynamics are natural in a relationship and accepting that I'm a bottom (sub) really helped me to embrace and enjoy that role.
I used that think being a sub meant doing demeaning things.  Now I know just where to set my boundaries and discuss it beforehand with any partner.  I am finding that I happily serve and obey my master in sexual play when I'm comfortable.  In the right situation it is highly enjoyable to be tied up, blindfolded, spanked, teased, objectified or leashed.  I am happy to give up control when I'm sure that my partner won't abuse it.  In relinquishing of control and experiencing good pain, anticipation builds and I find myself aroused and satisfied.

What's sexy

I frequently wonder what makes something sexy.  I find that each of my senses has the ability to detect sexy.  And the stimuli can change depending on my mood or the environment.  When something is sexually appealing my heart flutters and my breath gets caught in my throat for a moment, sometimes I feel lightheaded and other times I just smile.
One of the more recent sexy things I encountered was a woman's skin.  This particular woman has the most amazingly soft skin - as smooth as butter or silk, with no imperfections to be found.  Is she real?  I think so. I spent a whole evening kissing her.  The crazy thing is that I was at a sex club and instead of finding men to play with (I identify as a 1 on the Kinsey Scale) I only made out with her.  But she was what appealed to my senses on that night.  Kissing her was heaven - ridiculously soft lips, great tasting and flirty.  Caressing her body and enjoying the connection was all I really wanted to do.
I had met her once before, but previously she had played more with my husband and I with her boyfriend.  I believe this is because we fell into the traditional roles of straight couples at a sex club.  But at our second encounter, her boyfriend was away for the weekend so I wasn't distracted by him.  And thank goodness.  The gentle play between our two bodies felt sweet and uncomplicated.  We were comfortable and aroused.  But since we are both straight women our sexual tension never reached the level where we wanted to devour each other with passion or wondered whether this would become something more.
I wish that I weren't so fickle when it comes to what I define as sexy.   One day someone or something can be neutral in my mind and then suddenly a switch will flip and I'll be extremely turned on by whatever my brain or body has deemed desirous.  It might be lips one day, muscles, hair, a laugh, or conversation another day.  There's definitely a pattern to what I find appealing but there are also the outliers that give me an unexpected warm and tingly feeling.  It's likely the outliers that lift my mood the most and invigorate me.  Those experiences remind me of my teenage years.  Sadly, they seem to disappear as people pair up and mate for life.  In part, my ability to act upon some of these wild and crazy passionate feelings helps keep me so happy to be in my semi-open marriage.
The only guarantee I have is that I'll experience something sensually enjoyable in every day.  And I find it pretty awesome that my senses are able to give me that much pleasure and titillation.  I just wish I knew what would delight me each time so I could seek it out.  But then I think part of the excitement is the surprise.

Friend

I saw the beautiful Je Joue Ami while shopping at Good Vibrations and could not resist taking it home with me. I have to admit that I'm a bit of an exercise fanatic and perhaps that's in part why a vaginal toning device appeals to me. Having something that encourages me to exercise my pubococcygeus muscles is good motivation to actually do the work that leads to more enjoyable sex, stronger orgasms, and decreased incontinence.
I had never heard of the company Je Joue but am now thoroughly impressed with them, based on this product and touching their others at the store. They are new to the sex toy scene, having started with their first high end vibrator in 2008. The Ami, along with their 3 other offerings are all beautifully packaged, wonderfully luxurious feeling toys made from body safe silicone and ABS plastic. They are phthalate and latex free and designed with careful precision.
I love how each of the "exercisers" is carefully crafted to make this a successful incremental exercise program. The Ami 1 (1.65 ounces, 1.5" in diameter) is a single lightweight ball. It is the largest of the three and the easiest to keep in during Kegals (or housework for a more ambitious and multi-tasking approach). The Ami 2 and 3 are double ball toners that progress in weight while decreasing in size (2.75 ounces, 1.25" in diameter and 3" long, and 3.73 ounces, 1" in diameter and 2.75" long, respectively).  The balls inside the silicone casing move slightly, making for a very mild teasing "jingling" sensation if you move around while exercising.  I do wish the movement of the balls were more intense (perhaps smaller balls to allow for more movement) as it's not actually that noticeable or arousing.
There are countless ways to use these balls.  The most basic is to just do Kegals while they are inserted.  But each one also has a cord attached for simple removal, or resistance training.  A change in position or keeping them in during your day can also increase the challenge.
With few drops of lubricant on the Ami, I find that it's both easier to put in and provides more of a workout, since it has an easier time slipping out. I personally found the Ami 1 to be too large and light to be much in the way of exercise, though it does feel pretty good inside.  I find that I prefer the Ami 2 most of the time since it's heavier, and but still somewhat girthy which is pleasurable, while remaining a challenge. The Ami 3 and I are just getting to be friends - at times I still find it frustrating (and muscularly fatiguing) to use for more than a few minutes at a time.
I recently asked my husband if he could feel the results of my 2-3 times a week of vaginal workouts.  He gave me an uncertain look and said that sex recently had felt really good.  But, whether or not he's feeling the difference, I can certainly tell that the increased intensity of my PC muscle contractions during orgasm are providing me with more pleasure.

Paint, lick and repeat

The box of Kama Sutra Lover's Body Paint from Bliss Connection sat on my dresser for a long while.  I looked at the jar of milk chocolate and the little included paint brush, thinking that there wouldn't be any way this product would do anything for me and my sex-life.  My husband and I finally tried it a few weeks ago, quickly realizing that I had been mistaken.  Surely it was no orgasm in a box, but wherever my husband or I put it on each other we were guaranteed to do a thorough job licking, sucking or kissing it off.  The tender ritual that the use of this edible and delicious body paint created was quite enjoyable.

We started by placing the paint on breasts, necks, fingers and stomachs.  We were both smiling and laughing throughout.  After about 15 minutes I came to the realization that we were genuinely having fun, no longer just testing out the body paint because I felt obliged.  And who wouldn't have fun when chocolate and loving caresses are combined.  In fact it seems like the perfect addition to any truth or dare game.  Anyone wanna host a game?  I'll provide the body paint :)

The only downsides I found with regard to this product were that the chocolate is very thick, so when I tried to make specific designs with it, I was left a bit frustrated.  But I know that's not it's main purpose so I'll forgive this flaw.  The other problem is that we were left a bit sticky even if it was licked completely off, so a shower afterwards is essential.  Luckily showers are a great opportunity for continued passionate adventures - the only thing I need now is more time in which to have these romantic encounters.  Good thing I have this product staring me down and begging me to toss aside the tedium of everyday life and use it.

Cock whenever I want it

My newest toy lets me to get fucked practically anywhere.  It sticks to most surfaces, allowing for versatility in position.  I'm talking about the Basix 7.5 inch Suction Cup Dong from Pipedream.  Bliss Connection sent me this toy which I now affectionately refer to as Mr. Black.
This phthalate and latex-free, rubber toy is made in the USA.  The insertable part is 7.5 inches, but the toy is actually 8 inches all told since it contains the base of the penis with balls and a suction cup.  It is very thick at the head and tapers down a bit toward the base, allowing for maximal stimulation with penetration.  It was a little stinky when I pulled it from its functional but un-aesthetically pleasing packaging. Thankfully, I was able to quickly wash away the smell by bathing it for a few minutes.  Which is a good strategy for getting rid of the smell on any man's junk, right?
With a jelly-like texture, this toy feels and looks fairly lifelike which is both a turn-on and a little creepy.  The fact that it's a floating penis allows me to shut my eyes and fantasize about the guy it could be attached to, while not actually cheating on my husband or risking disease or pregnancy.  At the same time I might just as well have toys that don't look like dismembered body parts.  Also, if this were a real penis I were to have sex with, I'd hope it were a bit more perky.  I find that unless it's well lubricated, the penetration doesn't go so smoothly because it's slightly flaccid.  Also, what's up with the word dong?  I hate it - cock, dildo, and phallus are all much better options.  Dong just sounds goofy.  Think Long Duck Dong.
Aside from those complaints I have had some fun times.  I like how I can stick it to the bed-frame, shower wall, door, or floor and be the one in control.  I can do doggystyle, sitting, standing or lying down, depending on my mood.  I can start and stop when I want, taking pauses for clitoral stimulation with other toys while keeping this dong inside, without it going completely limp.  Using this girthy toy on the inside while achieving a blended orgasm (clitoral stimulation simultaneously) pleases me in an intense way.  While having sex I usually have a hard time keeping my clitoral toys in the right place to maintain the thrusting or movement that pleases my husband.  With this toy it's all about my needs while somehow still feeling more like the real deal than just a toy.
It is harness attachable so I could use it as a strap-on, though probably only vaginally because of it's girth.  I'll let you know how it goes if that situation arises.  For now I'll keep using it on myself, pretending I'm banging Denzel Washington, and wishing he were just slightly more turned on by our relations.

Tricks of the trade

Unfortunately, I wouldn't call myself a penis pleasing goddess.  I do know a thing or two and enjoy playing around and seeing what makes different guys moan, but all my learning, up until now, has been based on real life penis-ing.  I'm not saying that can't get the job done, but there's not a whole lot of variation in what I do.
A few months ago I purchased the book Tickle His Pickle by Dr. Sadie Allison.  It's touted as the how to guide for penis pleasing, both for oral sex and hand jobs.  The first time I heard this book mentioned in conversation, I didn't think much of it.  I had never had a problem making guys cum - it always happened one way or another.
But when a friend of mine purchased Tickle His Pickle and a few weeks later told me that her boyfriend (not one to hand out compliments easily) said she'd given the best blow job he'd ever received, I decided I just might need the book after all.  My friend's boyfriend hadn't even known she'd purchased such a book, and had always previously said an ex-girlfriend gave far superior head.  I know you may think that's harsh, but that's just how honest he is.
After reading through this fairly short (144 page) book, I am proud to say that I learned several new techniques.  Not only is the book clear and concise (there are drawings to go along with the text) but Dr. Allison does not shy away from any topics either, she's as up front and direct talking about anal play, safe sex practices, odors and lube as she is with ways to be sensual and techniques for providing mind blowing orgasms.  And while a book by a woman about penis pleasing may seem counterintuitive, she clearly states that she got help and advise from men.  She also repeatedly mentions that while the tips and techniques may bring new excitement and orgasmic bliss to the man, none of it will happen without good communication and setting the mood as a foundation.
The one other great thing this book provides is humor.  Dr. Allison makes it clear that while giving a man physical pleasure is a serious topic in terms of forming or maintaining a sexual relationship, it's also something that is natural, fun and funny at times.  The humor makes it both an easy read and leaves you feeling less like you've just been taught the one official way to please your man - after all, each man is unique and this book just gives lots of options, some of which will probably be for now and others that may be for another time or another man.
I'm planning to continue work on my deep throating technique now that I know laying back over the bed works best.  Also, I'm going talk dirty more of the time and use my natural oral sex lubricant (saliva) much more freely - especially since I was made with way more than my fair share of the world's saliva resources.

A dust anyone can love

Well I have a dust allergy, so typically I stay as far away from any type of dust as possible.  The Kama Sutra Honey Dust however breaks this rule.  I find myself reevaluating the name "Honey Dust," and want to call it "Honey Powder," which sounds more refined to me anyway. This product is a sensual powder to put on skin for a nice smell as well as for removing with the mouth during sexual play.
I purchased this product from Bliss Connection after trying it at a Pleasure Party I hosted.  I love the way I can lightly apply it and smell sweet for hours.  It's made from real spun honey  and corn starch so I was happy to know that what I was putting on my skin was natural.  Is it sticky, you ask.  Nope.  In large quantities maybe, but if you apply a light dusting of it with the real rooster feather applicator that is included, it just smells and tastes divine.  The packaging is beautiful, along with the rooster feather duster, the tin is nicely decorated and the honey dust itself is in a satin bag.  The generous quantity in one container seems like enough to last for years.
While I purchased Honeysuckle, there are also Raspberries, Chocolate, and Strawberries & Champaign flavors.  I have smelled and tasted each of the flavors and enjoy the unique, mild and accurate tastes of each one.  It's a fun way to tickle and tease and then lovingly lick the spot that maybe got a little too tickled.
I've also taken to putting it on after a shower, in order to dry off quicker, keep my skin soft and smell good.  And then that got me thinking - if I like it after a shower, would my children as well?  And yes, they do.  It leaves their skin smooth and dry and smelling like honey.
One of the uses that I haven't yet tried is cleaning up a wet spot.  But apparently it does a great job quickly drying unwanted wet spots if you pour a little on, leave it for a minute or two and then clean it up with a tissue or  hand vacuum.