Saturday, July 31, 2010

And now for something new...

Starting in August I will be writing two new types of posts.  These tantalizing little tales will a monthly feature.  On the 1st of every month I'll depict factual experiences I've had and on the 15th I'll tease you with a work of fiction relating to my fantasies.  I hope you enjoy.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Unusual places

Spicing up my sex life can sometimes be as easy as finding a daring place to have sex. Here's my top 10 list of places where I've done the deed:
1) In an elevator
2) In a library
3) In a classroom
4) On the sidewalk
5) At the top of a waterfall
6) In a friend's backyard
7) In the projection booth of a theater
8) On the beach
9) In a sex club
10) And of course bed.

Feel free to share some of yours.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Stormy Leather

I have been to Stormy Leather in San Francisco on two occasions and both times came away with exactly what I wanted. Once I bought Liquid Latex there and the other time I purchased a corset. Both times I walked around the Castro with a particular product in mind but without having success after visiting numerous store.
Stormy Leather was located off the main drag - a block or two from Folsom Street where many of the leather stores are located. I say "was located" because I just found out yesterday (when admiring a corset that happened to be from Stormy Leather) that they completed a 20 year lease, have closed up shop and will be moving to a more desirable location (still in San Francisco) in the fall. They were also recently purchased by JT Stockroom (a reputable company).
Since the store was not as centrally located, our searches began on Folsom Street and grew in radius until we ended up at Stormy. When we were purchasing the latex paint the sales lady simply reached down, pulled out the colors they had, we chose the ones we wanted, bought them and left. It was a great experience, simple and straightforward. If only we had started our search there. Several stores didn't have any liquid latex, one store just had an expired jar that when opened was congealed and another couple stores had only one color. So while our feet hurt and we were tired, we went home happy.
Sadly we hadn't searched the vast inventory of the store, making it only to the check out counter, or we might have known 2 years later (when I wanted a corset) that we should revisit Stormy Leather. We did a little research online and found a few stores that had corsets in the under $400 range in the Folsom Street area. We visited 3 stores with poor results. The first and second didn't have any corsets I liked (mostly mens' leather stuff) and the third place had horrible customer service and none of the corsets seemed to fit right or look great (possibly because we had no help lacing them or because they were just not appealing to me).
When we arrived at Stormy the sales people were once again very helpful, quickly ascertaining what size and styles I might want. I was presented with 5 corsets to try on. When we quickly demonstrated our ineptitude with lacing up a corset one of the salesmen came over. "You just pull the laces like this" he said showing my husband "and then when you have them even you just get a little leverage (putting his knee against my back) and pull." With a little athleticism he got that corset cinched so nice and snug that I had a small waist, big hips and an overflowing bosom. I tried on numerous corsets but I had found love at first sight.
I am eager to return to Stormy leather when they reopen. Until then I will lustfully peruse their website making note of all the things I want (for example Terra Firma Harness and the Sergeant Corset). They seem to be a store with amazing selection, a friendly and knowledgeable staff and no sleazy vibe.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Public nudity

When I first found out that there was an organized group of people who ran naked through San Francisco for the Bay to Breakers 12k run I was excited.  I couldn't believe that I could run through the city and not get arrested.  Actually, the law in San Francisco does not make nudity a criminal offense anywhere other than in Golden Gate Park, and while the race goes through the park, as long as you stay on the road you are not considered to be in the park itself.
My husband and I signed up for Bare to Breakers group and were given instructions for where to meet for the members only pre-race meeting.  We met in a conference room of a large hotel.  There people were clothed most of the time though at times stripping off all their clothes to apply sunscreen or tie on their race number.  After some preparation and chit chat, there was a short talk by the organizer describing proper etiquette (no lewd behavior) and encouraging people to hand out beads and balloons (though not in exchange for Mardi Gras style flashing).  After that we divided into 2 groups - runners and walkers - and headed out toward the starting line.  When we reached the street where we were going to start the race we stripped down to the bare essentials - tennis shoes, neon yellow hats, beads around our neck and balloons in hand.  The woman standing next to me had painted on her stomach Say No To Bush, and as you may have guessed she had no pubic hair having recently started laser hair removal.
The run was exhilarating.  People were yelling and cheering for me.  There were a few guys who ran alongside videotaping (a little creepy) and others who had looks of shock on their faces (but give me a break, this is San Francisco - a naked couple is certainly not the craziest thing I've seen on the street).
Speaking of being a naked couple, there was one woman we passed who screamed "Rock out with your cock out, Jam out with your clam out!"  But most people were not so keen on seeing a naked man.  Perhaps it's because the naked men outnumbered the women 10:1 or perhaps it's because many of the nude males were not attractive.  There were definitely some attractive naked men, and I found it sad that even those men got heckled.
We ran naked 3 years in a row and each time walked back (the whole 12k) along the course since we completed the race before all rowdy, costumed people and floats.  This allowed us to enjoy the run and the party.  Then after 2 years off (we had conflicting plans) we returned this past May.  But we had heard (incorrectly, it turned out) that the Bare to Breakers group had disbanded so we ran on our own.  We did not run naked (which was nice at the starting line since it was freezing cold, even with a hot Starbucks coffee in hand) but I ran in a tiny dress and my husband ran in a t-shirt and utili-kilt.  We did not wear anything under our minimal coverage and had fun flashing people along the course.  At one point there was a group of about 10 guys behind a fence watching the race, I flashed them and they  went wild rattling their cage and barking.  But I believe the funniest moment was when we were walking back along the course and we heard a guy we were passing comment "I can't believe that dude is naked" about someone walking in the race.  My husband responded with "this is the first time we done it clothed."  The man laughed in disbelief, to which my husband and I simultaneously lifted our skirts.  His jaw dropped and we walked away laughing - just another fun day in San Francisco.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


In training for a half marathon I've been thinking about what exercises are important for toning and increasing endurance. It got me thinking about how sex is an athletic activity and how if you are in sexually good shape it feels better and is more fun. Talking about this makes me feel like I'm writing a tagline on the cover of some women's magazine "Ten Ways to Trim, Tone and Have the Sex Life You've Always Wanted." But aside from the cheesiness factor, I do think it's important to do the work necessary to have a really good sex life. When I'm happier in bed, I'm happier out of bed. And so is my husband.
So here's my top 10 ways I sexercise:
1) Kegels (I have thought about getting vaginal weights to increase the toning, but haven't done it yet)
2) Stretching (being flexible is always sexy)
3) Doing aerobic exercise (endurance makes sex better)
4) Strength training (being able to lift your partner is a plus)
5) Reading up (finding new ways to make sex more exciting)
6) Mental exercise (being creative with what you've got and role playing)
7) Masturbation (works for keeping my sex drive up and PC muscles toned)
8) Sexy dancing (good as foreplay and exercise)
9) Having sexual experiences with multiple people (helps with teaching me new sexercises)
10) Sex! It's the ultimate form of sexercise if done for 30 minutes or more and with regularity.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Sexual role models

How could I have a positive view of sex when I grew up in a family where sexual activity was looked down upon?
When I was a child, my parents (especially my mom) talked about how sex was a marital obligation, but how if you had a really strong marriage you didn't need sex.  My mom had made my dad remain abstinent for 2 years (early in their relationship) to "help make their marriage be about something more than base desires."  She said that the mouth was a clean place not meant for the penis, and forget about anal sex.  Here favorite comment regarding the anus and vagina is "why would God put a garbage dump right next to an amusement park?"  The first time I ever saw my parents kiss with a little tongue action I was a teenager.  My dad had been given a Kama Sutra style book and tried out one of the kisses with my mom to which my mom jumped back and said something about it not being appropriate.
Luckly, while my mom presented me with this bizarre and anti-sexuality view of the world we lived in a commune like setting.  I was able to see that while my parents had some strange beliefs they certainly were not the views of all my friends' parents.  Many of the adults I grew up around were on the other extreme of sexuality.  They were free love hippies.  They practiced Tantric Sex/Yoga, talked freely about sexuality, walked around naked and had noisy sex at night.
I remember one of my friend's mom and step-dad teaching her weekly lessons about tantric sex (they were both tantra instructors) when she was around 8. Not in perverted way (not with any demonstration) but in a really liberal here is some information you should know to help make your sexual experiences better when you are older way.  I did sit in on a couple of those lessons which were informative.
Also, I had another friend whose mom talked about her sex life frequently.  It was through her explicit depictions of what made for a good sexual partner and a good sexual experience that I had some idea of what to look for and try when I got older.  I was very curious since this stuff wasn't talked about at home, and I asked my friend's mom questions like "how do you give a good blowjob?" to which I got a detailed reply involving saliva, positions of hands, use of tongue and humming.  This grossed out my friend as we were both around 12 but seemed entirely necessary to me.
The path that I have taken regarding sexuality is very different from that of my mom.  I'm open, eager and embracing of sexual energy in myself and others.  So why is my mom the way she is?  It certainly wasn't her mom's doing.  My grandma was fond of dirty jokes and freely answered my sex related questions (and though she also believed sex was for marriage, she had engaged in premarital sex).
The conclusion I have come to is that my mom does not get pleasure out of sex (she has said so herself) and she was messed up from her first marriage where her husband had taken on another wife (I don't know how it, as she says, "just happened").  In her mind the new wife forced her out of the marriage.  The other woman had a daughter and my mom has always claimed that she left because she couldn't be part of messing up the child.  I think she expressed her negative attitude in order to scare us into not having premarital sex so that we wouldn't get pregnant or acquire STDs.
I don't think of my more sexually open lifestyle is a form of rebellion.  I think that it's just part of me being authentic to my own desires and belief in feminism.  I hope to raise my daughters to not be ashamed of masturbating or secretive about their sexuality.  I want them to know about their bodies (perhaps not as explicitly as the parents of my friends in the commune) but they will certainly own a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves as teenagers and can feel free to ask me any questions.  They will also most certainly grow up with parents who show public displays of their affection with each other.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Learning to pet the pussy

I think I was about 13 or 14 the first time I happened upon orgasming.  It wasn't as if I trying to get off, though without my knowledge I was masturbating.  I was at a hotel pool and had gotten near a jet of water and suddenly the directed intense stream of water made me feel really good.  I stayed there for a few minutes and the feeling got even more intense until it climaxed and was done.
I made no connection between what I was doing and masturbating since masturbating in my mind meant touching my genitals directly.  I continued to do my pool pleasuring whenever I went to a pool or hot tub, perhaps 2-4 times a year, being as discreet as possible.
I didn't try masturbating, as I defined it (since my mom seemed to discourage it) until my freshman year of college.  In the all female college I went to the women talked about everything and there was plenty of talk about sex and masturbating.  So I decided to try it.  I was laying in my bed (the upper bunk) after my roommate had fallen asleep one night and I tried masturbating using my finger.  It took a REALLY long time - maybe an hour and a half.  When I finally orgasmed my first thought was "wow this is the same as what I was doing in the pool," and almost immediately after that I thought "why do people do it with their fingers when it was so much easier with the water."
The next day I did a little research on the internet.  I found that people masturbate with many objects (yes, I know I was uninformed).  I tried using the shower since it was the closest thing to the pool.  It worked great except that the showers were all communal in the dorm where I lived.  I scoped out the other dorms and found a bathroom that while communal only had one tub/shower and I was able to lock the door.  This became my escape.
However, using the other shower was a big production.  I had to bring shower supplies to another dorm, clean the tub and find off hours when no one who lived in the dorm, ready to give me weird or annoyed stares as I left (yes the school was small enough that everyone knew everyone who lived in or dated someone in that dorm) would be waiting to use the same shower.
I decided to attempt some of the other masturbation techniques I'd seen on the internet.  I tried sitting on the washing machine - nothing, I tried laying on my stomach and rubbing on a smooth rock - nothing.  So I kept showering.  Then when I was at home over winter break my mom gave me a new head to my Sonicare toothbrush.  I remembered having seen that mentioned on the internet so I took the old head and tried it out - so simple, so perfect, so fast.  I was able to use it in my dorm room when I returned to college as long as my roommate was gone.  It was a little noisy - but hopefully just sounded like a long toothbrushing session.
While my methods of masturbating have changed over time and my understanding of my own anatomical preferences has grown I still have the same reaction to a climax that I did that first time.  Sometimes I still use the shower or Sonicare toothbrush if I'm horny and far from my toys.  I also learned that while boys like to watch me use my fingers it just isn't worth the effort unless it's for show - and then if they want to see me cum I'll grab my Magic Wand or Butterfly Kiss and finish the job.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I wanna get in your hot tub baby

Have you ever thought about what heaven could be like? I believe my heaven would be something like being at Watercourse Way. It has a calming Zen feel from the moment you walk through the door - Asian inspired decor, soft music, and soothing smells. The outside world disappears at the doorstep and while you wait to be escorted to your room there is ice cold water or hot teas for sipping.
The first time my husband suggested we go to this bath house a completely different image popped up in my mind. I thought of San Francisco and the "Soak and Pokes" that were the fame of the gay community in the 1980s. Watercourse Way, however, does not have a tawdry feel. It is an upscale, clean, and professional establishment that is as good for a single individual or a group of friends as it is for couples. They offer tub rooms, massage, and spa services.
I decided I should post a review of this little known gem after a visit this past Saturday. My husband I and go every 2-3 months to play in their rooms. We usually book a room with a hot tub, sauna or steam room and cold plunge. We've been to all of the 5 rooms that have these features and they are all marvelous. This time we called at the last minute and got the room Two Stones. It did not have a cold plunge but the hot tub had a beautiful waterfall flowing into it and was big enough for 10 people.
We also got their couples massage package on one occasion. I enjoyed how my husband and I were together throughout the whole experience - the steam room/shower, the exfoliating rub and the side by side massages. Other places we've been to separated us for part of the time. And they use hot rocks as part of their massage--such nirvana.
Our favorite tub room is Six Dragonflies. It has a tub, cold plunge and sauna. The tub and cold plunge are made out of wood (perhaps cedar) that smells really good. All of the rooms have controls for the music, lights, amount of steam or temperature of sauna and an intercom with the front desk. The doors also lock automatically so there's no chance of intrusion from the outside world. Six Dragonflies also has a skylight that makes it ideal for a daytime escape from reality. Did I mention that all of the tub rooms also have a bed for, um, resting?
We went there once on a date with another couple and boy was that great! The feeling of being in a different world, one free of responsibilities, worries and full of romantic mood lubricants made for a fun and relaxed time. We had the tub room Nine Bats, a crowd favorite with glowing jellyfish on the wall and twinkling stars on the ceiling. That was seriously the best make out session ever! I think I had the after-sex glow for days.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Slippery when wet

As a woman, being dry down there isn't sexy. But wait, what if you're dry from hours of wild sex? Now that's hot, right? Or at least acceptable.
I do admit that there are times I've needed a little lube. Breastfeeding has tended to make matters worse. I tried a number of different lubricants before finding the one that I absolutely love. In fact, I love it so much that I use it sometimes even when it's not completely necessary.
I've used lubrication that was too sticky, another that didn't keep me wet for long, and one kind that left behind dry white crusty pieces afterward. Yuck, yuck and yuck. Not to mention the smell and taste of some lubes.
I wanted something that just felt like my own natural wetness - slippery and smooth with no smell or taste. The lube that met these qualifications is called Liquid Silk. It is water-based, so you can use it with latex condoms or toys without risk of harming them. The lack of glycerin also makes it good for those ladies who get yeast infections from lubricants.
It has little enough smell and taste that it does not hamper oral sex for even a minute. It also doesn't stain so you can go wild and it washes right out. And after the act is done it soaks right into the skin like a silky smooth moisturizer - and why not treat your most delicate parts to a little lotion every now and again?

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Gettin' rude with the food

Dear readers,
While you wait with baited breath for me to receive, play with and post reviews of my new toys, you can use the coupon code LEXI for 15% off at Bliss Connection to get some toys for yourselves. Perhaps we can be simultaneously orgasming. The chances are greater if we are both playing with ourselves or our friends. They also pay shipping on purchases over $25.
Then you won't have use a cucumber.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Earnest in bed

You know how fortune cookie sayings are always better if you add "in bed" to the end of them?  Well what if you applied that same principle to an Oscar Wilde play?  Several years ago an acquaintance-by-reputation of mine decided to explore that idea, and sent out a casting call for  a softcore photocomic (or as those in the know would say, a "fumetti") of The Importance of Being Earnest. The idea was to bring any real or imagined sexual innuendos to the surface, and make good porn.
My husband and I auditioned to be two of the main characters and were soon getting measured for elaborate costumes she was making.  The people initially cast as the other two main characters were individuals that she had found through craigslist.  While I had no particular problem with them, the idea of touching their genitals and them touching mine, as the FAQ for the project stated, was less than exciting.  That problem solved itself over the next few months as they both dropped out of the project for different reasons.  While this left our fearless leader without two main characters, she was able to wrangle up a married couple of her friends at the last minute.  These individuals were not close friends of mine, but I knew who they were (we went to college together), and found them both to be attractive.
The project was shot over three weekends.  I was nervous about my intimate scenes and of course the girl/girl scene was the first thing shot on the first day.  We started with a couple pictures of us sitting close together and then it was right into kissing and then heading down south.  What a first day, and what an introduction to this woman who I had only met in passing before this project.  Amazing how a week later I would have considered her and her husband great friends--and probably more.
The second week I was barely in the shoot so I got to spend time hanging out, helping with makeup, and watching my husband and the other main man make out.  It was so hot!  Exactly the stuff my fantasies are made of.  I also spent time on the front steps smoking cloves with the other woman and talking, which ended up being one of my fondest memories.
By the third weekend everyone was very comfortable with each other.  We had a sleepover between the two nights of photographing on location, at the makeup artist's house (which was also the set for the shoot that weekend).  I was no longer nervous about the sexual scenes as I had been in the beginning. In fact, I wished I could do that first day over so it could look better and be more fun to do.
I did get to get spanked , masturbate, and have sex for the camera that third weekend.  And I got to watch titillating scenes with others who were comfortable with me watching.  I was sad to have it end, but I was also exhausted.  We had been shooting from early morning to sundown and that last weekend had been so hot.  I had been dressed in victorian clothing (when I wasn't naked) and all the layers (including a tight corset) in the hundred plus degree heat gave me a real live case of "the vapors" on our final day of shooting.  The vapors are often thought of as a woman swooning against the side of a couch, a symptom of hysteria.  And as I just read, were sometimes treated by use of a vibrator under the care of a doctor.  And did you know vibrators were available as household electronics nine years before vacuum cleaners?  Beautiful!
Ok, so back to the vapors.  I started acting weird - saying I was dizzy, hot and laughing a lot.  Then I tried to pull myself together but kept feeling funny, and finally passed out.  Everyone quickly helped get my corset loose and all my clothes off.  I've never been undressed so fast or by so many people.  I felt better almost immediately and did not require the care of a vibrator carrying doctor.
The end of the photoshoot also meant the end of dating the other couple since they returned to their home in a different state.  This may have been the saddest part, as ends of relationships (as I then thought it would be) make me melancholy.  But the relationship has not fully ended and the friendship has continued to grow.  Also, now that The Importance of Being Earnest is in print I can look my copy whenever I want to see all of the exciting on-camera things that happened that summer. 

Friday, July 2, 2010

Coochy all over me

With a name like Coochy I was worried that it would be a gimmicky novelty item and was certainly hoping it wouldn't smell like its namesake. Luckily I found that this rash free shaving cream was just a poorly named unisex product with several good uses. When I posted to this blog about getting laser hair removal because I disliked shaving or waxing my bikini area, Chrystal at Bliss Connection immediately asked me if I'd ever tried Coochy shaving cream. I responded that I hadn't but was certainly game for trying it. She kindly sent me a bottle.
I hadn't gone bare floors in over four years so I was both excited and reticent. It always looked nice at first, but I hated how it itched and caused ingrown hairs when it was coming back. I followed the detailed instructions for best results and shaved off my landing strip. The area was so nice and smooth, a really close shave. Then I waited for the itchies, but they never came. Also I didn't get any ingrown hairs. I was very pleasantly surprised.
My husband manscaped using the shaving cream and while he did have the itching with hair regrowth, he did not get any ingrown hairs. So he tried it while shaving his facial hair - a place he always gets ingrown hairs - and guess what, no ingrown hairs.
I shaved my armpits and legs with this stuff too and got one of the smoothest full body shaves I've ever experienced. Then I used it as aftershave lotion as the bottle suggested (it has aloe vera in it) and was left with moisturized and nice smelling skin - it comes in several different scents or fragrance free. I used the original kind which, while I enjoyed the smell, could certainly be obnoxious to some people since it seems to remain noticeable throughout the day.
On the bottle it also suggests using it as a hair conditioner, so for the sake of research I decided to use it instead of my regular conditioner. I'll admit, I felt a little weird putting something called Coochy on my head. What if my boss or the cashier at the grocery store said "your hair smells nice, what are you using on it?" It's not as if I could just say Coochy. I decided I'd just tell them the name of the shampoo I use and leave my Coochy out of the discussion.
It turns out that it actually is a pleasant conditioner. It gave my hair more body and left it feeling smooth but not slippery. After all these uses I still have 90% of the bottle left, so a little does go a long way. I don't know how this stuff can do so many things but I guess that's just the way of the Coochy.