No More Sucking Please

I feel that I need to put a couple of disclaimers at the beginning of this review as my opinion is definitely skewed. If you love nipple stimulation then you may want to ignore my review totally and try out this toy (with a partner).

I have recently (think 3.5 of the past 4 years) breastfed two children and used a breast-pump in addition, for when I was away at work as well as pumping milk for a friend's adopted baby. I got used to the feeling of suction on my breasts meaning that I was sustaining little human beings and not part of sexual play.

Also, for most of my adult life (even prior to having children) I was part of the 5% of people who just happen to lactate for no reason. This meant that milk could be expressed with minimal nipple stimulation - not something either my partner or I found sexually appealing (though I appreciate that some people do).

So now onto the toy I recently tried out courtesy of Bliss Connection - the Nipple Suckers. This cute little pink device, made by Pipedream is intended to increase the size and sensitivity of nipples. When the suction cups are placed over the nipples and the medical style pump ball is squeezed, the nipples immediately plump up. The less pleasant part of when I do it is that milk still comes out. And I'm over milk coming out of my nipples, at least for now.

I found that getting the suction cups to attach to my nipples was a very frustrating, if not an impossible feat for me to do alone. They had to both make a seal at the same time which seems like a poor design. However, with another person's assistance I was able to easily get them attached and pumped up. I did enjoy the tingly sensation that the suction created and the resulting large, eraser shaped nipples. My favorite feature is that once you either make the suction too intense or are done, there is an easy release valve that immediately breaks the seal.

Wicked Sexy

You may have noticed the unusual and sexy (if I do say so myself) underwear I wore in my last post. I enjoy collecting and wearing panties and found these Chastity Heart ones at Wicked Temptations. They are part of a set that comes with heart shaped pasties. I know this is another photo of the back of these underwear, but really that's the most interesting part, with the front just being a very minimally covering strip of fabric that is actually somewhat uncomfortable.

Lewinski-esque

Thanks to Bliss Connection, I have recently been orgasming with the aide of the Slender Sensations vibrator. This toy is a very thin and powerful little gem. At 6 inches in length, it's the size of the presidentially famous cigar, and little bigger than a pen. I was able to easily tote this vibrator with me on my vacation to Maui in my purse.

California Exotics has pleased me with several of their products, and this one is no different. Made of phthalate-free hard plastic, this vibrator actually felt comfortable both inside of me and out, and did not have any smell. The multi-speed functionality is controlled by twisting the bottom, and while I sometimes have a problem with this style of vibrator because the setting slips with accidental finger movement, I have not had this happen to me even once with this toy. Perhaps it will become looser over time, but right now it works perfectly.

I've found that with it's lack of girth, it does minimally well on my g-spot, but is amazing on my clit. The tip is tapered making it ideal for intensely stimulating the exact right spot. I've read that when inserted with a penis it can be a great g-spot addition, but found that with the size of my spouse's member this was not feasible, and only painful.

The one problem I have with the Slender Sensations is that if I get excited and press it more firmly against my clitoris sometimes the power decreases because of a faulty electrical connection. I've also heard that it's very easily broken by any water entering it, so this is definitely a wipe to clean toy. And speaking of that, baby wipes (any brand) are the best choice for cleaning your intimate toys as they work well, prevent the destruction that water can cause, can be kept right in the bedroom and are cheap.

Keys

Amy and her boyfriend, Tim, had been itching for some fun. They'd posted an ad on craigslist for couples who'd be interested in attending a '70s style swinger key party. There had been a good number of responses, with a relatively few being skeezy. Amy decided to host an afternoon get-together with the interested people first, to scope out the true fuckability of the potential couples and get let everyone get to know each other a little first.

Culinary endeavors had always been a hobby for Amy and she felt that setting the mood with an aphrodisiac spread would help move things in the right direction. She made Blushing Ladies to drink, a papaya and pomegranate salad with ginger dressing, and chocolate fondue to be shuttled to the mouth with a variety of sliced fruits. At 3:30 in the afternoon Amy glanced at the clock, and then picked up the phone.

"Hey Tim" she said, speaking quickly. "Half an hour until our little soiree." She paused, listening. "I didn't think you forgot. I just wanted to make sure you were leaving work now." "Ok, see you soon then." She hung up the phone and looked around.

Everything on the table looked great, but catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, realized she was a mess. She had half an hour to bathe and shave, dress and do her hair and make-up. Amy ran upstairs, quickly shedding clothing on her way down the hall. She turned on the shower and removed her hairband, shaking her long wavy brown hair loose. Grabbing some soap, she stepped under the water and rubbed her body, starting at her neck. She made little circles as she worked her way down her arms, over her breasts, stomach, shortly trimmed bush and long, toned legs. As she pulled out her razor and lifted a leg, she began to think about what the upcoming event would be like. She was hoping it would feel like everyone was placed in a simmering pot - lots of coy glances, steamy conversation and perhaps little suggestive hugs and kisses goodbye. The one rule Amy had made clear in the invitation was that no real action was to take place, that was to be saved for the real party, for those who were asked back.

The doorbell rang as she was putting on her earrings. She looked at the clock - 3:57. "At least I'm ready" she mumbled, "even if Tim's not home yet." Halfway down the stairs Amy stopped and smiled. Tim was home and had already answered the door. He was dressed fabulously in a tight black t-shirt that accentuated his muscular arms, and designer jeans which showed off his firm ass, from where Amy was standing.

"This is Keith and Erin" Tim said to Amy as she approached the entryway. Amy smiled, "glad to finally meet you both. It seems like we already know each other after all our back and forth emailing." While casual conversation between the two couples flowed easily, Amy couldn't help but feel a little disappointment. Neither was her type - both worked in real estate and somehow had a layer of sales grease stuck to them like pomade. "Oh well" she thought, "there's still 7 more couples."

Within 2o minutes only 1 couple was missing and Amy's mood had risen. There were definitely potential winners. Rob, the fireman and his wife Annette, a personal trainer probably ranked at the top of her list. Being blonde, Rob was not her usual type, but Amy felt she could make an exception for that body and deep sexy voice. Annette's high and squeaky voice however was her only visible shortcoming.

The other top ranking man was Mike, a suit wearing, pager carrying doctor. At 5'9" he was the shortest of the men, but his beaming smile, confidant demeanor and mildly Asian appearance, had Amy swooning. She glanced over at Mike who was talking to Tim, and the two men smiling at her across the table made her instantly blush. Escaping to the kitchen with an empty dish, Amy took a drink of water and fanned her face. Suddenly this key party idea seemed even more amazing. She took a few deep breaths and headed back out, toward the lively chatter of happy and engaged guests.

The last couple to arrive, Dan and Liza seemed average to Amy in every way. He was a 7th grade teacher and she, a freelance journalist. They were both slightly reserved, quickly placing themselves with one of the larger groups of people talking, each with an arm around the other and primarily listening to the conversation. Occasionally one or both of them would be asked a question and a concise reply would be given. Dan had shoulder length light brown hair that was tied in a ponytail and Liza's short chestnut hair framed her face.

Amy flitted around the gathering making sure everyone's needs were met. She didn't have much time to dive deeply into conversation with anyone, but did feel that she got a sense of whom her guests were. She felt a little bad for the long meat market glances that she (and others) couldn't help themselves from taking. But she figured it fair-play in this kind of a game.

By 6pm everyone was gone. Amy shut the door as the last 2 couples left and leaned up against it and sighing in dreamy exhaustion. The anticipation and preparation for the event had worn her out, and the remaining energy she'd reserved had all been used up hosting and fantasizing.

Tim walked up, running his hands from Amy's hips to her torso and back down. Pressing himself up against her and sliding his hands over her round and less than perfectly toned ass he whispered, "You did good, hostess."

"Thanks" she whispered back breathily in his ear. Then her smile faded and she bit the corner of her lip, the way she always did when something bothered her.

"What's up baby?" Tim questioned.

"Do we invite everyone?" I really don't want to end up with Keith."

Tim smiled, "It's only a one in eight chance that you'll choose his keys. Besides Katie and Liza both kept eyeing him, and I can tell you want Katie to be happy."

Amy rolled her eyes, but Tim did have a point, if Katie was happy Mike would be

"I guess there's someone for everyone" Amy responded. "Ok, I guess we'll invite them all and hope that lady luck likes me."

Lacking sensual love

I love the Silver Bullet, a plain and simple, no frills toy. It's not cute or fancy, but it is cheap and gets the job done. But of course with such a good and basic design, companies are going to spruce it up, change it, and in my opinion, overdress it.

There are variations on the bullet that please me, but the Sensual Lover's Ring was not one of them. My husband and I spent a few weeks experimenting with this toy, courtesy of Bliss Connection, trying to find a way that would allow us to have a pleasurable experience. I believe that we failed to enjoy it for a few reasons.

The Sensual Lover's Ring is a cock ring made of a jelly material with the bullet encased in the plastic as well. There are bumps/nubs on the plastic covering the bullet to enhance the tactile experience. Neither my husband (when the bullet was over his perineum) or me (with the bullet on my clitoris) found the bumps pleasurable (they were pokey and painful).

It also turns out that my husband does not enjoy vibration, so using this toy while giving him a blow job was distracting and didn't enhance or speed things up, which I've heard really works wonders if the male enjoys vibration.

Honestly, if I were to choose a toy made from a bullet to pleasure myself during sex, it'd be the Micro Butterfly. It's compact, has 3 discreet settings and does not move away from my clit for a second.