Tricks of the trade

Unfortunately, I wouldn't call myself a penis pleasing goddess.  I do know a thing or two and enjoy playing around and seeing what makes different guys moan, but all my learning, up until now, has been based on real life penis-ing.  I'm not saying that can't get the job done, but there's not a whole lot of variation in what I do.
A few months ago I purchased the book Tickle His Pickle by Dr. Sadie Allison.  It's touted as the how to guide for penis pleasing, both for oral sex and hand jobs.  The first time I heard this book mentioned in conversation, I didn't think much of it.  I had never had a problem making guys cum - it always happened one way or another.
But when a friend of mine purchased Tickle His Pickle and a few weeks later told me that her boyfriend (not one to hand out compliments easily) said she'd given the best blow job he'd ever received, I decided I just might need the book after all.  My friend's boyfriend hadn't even known she'd purchased such a book, and had always previously said an ex-girlfriend gave far superior head.  I know you may think that's harsh, but that's just how honest he is.
After reading through this fairly short (144 page) book, I am proud to say that I learned several new techniques.  Not only is the book clear and concise (there are drawings to go along with the text) but Dr. Allison does not shy away from any topics either, she's as up front and direct talking about anal play, safe sex practices, odors and lube as she is with ways to be sensual and techniques for providing mind blowing orgasms.  And while a book by a woman about penis pleasing may seem counterintuitive, she clearly states that she got help and advise from men.  She also repeatedly mentions that while the tips and techniques may bring new excitement and orgasmic bliss to the man, none of it will happen without good communication and setting the mood as a foundation.
The one other great thing this book provides is humor.  Dr. Allison makes it clear that while giving a man physical pleasure is a serious topic in terms of forming or maintaining a sexual relationship, it's also something that is natural, fun and funny at times.  The humor makes it both an easy read and leaves you feeling less like you've just been taught the one official way to please your man - after all, each man is unique and this book just gives lots of options, some of which will probably be for now and others that may be for another time or another man.
I'm planning to continue work on my deep throating technique now that I know laying back over the bed works best.  Also, I'm going talk dirty more of the time and use my natural oral sex lubricant (saliva) much more freely - especially since I was made with way more than my fair share of the world's saliva resources.

A dust anyone can love

Well I have a dust allergy, so typically I stay as far away from any type of dust as possible.  The Kama Sutra Honey Dust however breaks this rule.  I find myself reevaluating the name "Honey Dust," and want to call it "Honey Powder," which sounds more refined to me anyway. This product is a sensual powder to put on skin for a nice smell as well as for removing with the mouth during sexual play.
I purchased this product from Bliss Connection after trying it at a Pleasure Party I hosted.  I love the way I can lightly apply it and smell sweet for hours.  It's made from real spun honey  and corn starch so I was happy to know that what I was putting on my skin was natural.  Is it sticky, you ask.  Nope.  In large quantities maybe, but if you apply a light dusting of it with the real rooster feather applicator that is included, it just smells and tastes divine.  The packaging is beautiful, along with the rooster feather duster, the tin is nicely decorated and the honey dust itself is in a satin bag.  The generous quantity in one container seems like enough to last for years.
While I purchased Honeysuckle, there are also Raspberries, Chocolate, and Strawberries & Champaign flavors.  I have smelled and tasted each of the flavors and enjoy the unique, mild and accurate tastes of each one.  It's a fun way to tickle and tease and then lovingly lick the spot that maybe got a little too tickled.
I've also taken to putting it on after a shower, in order to dry off quicker, keep my skin soft and smell good.  And then that got me thinking - if I like it after a shower, would my children as well?  And yes, they do.  It leaves their skin smooth and dry and smelling like honey.
One of the uses that I haven't yet tried is cleaning up a wet spot.  But apparently it does a great job quickly drying unwanted wet spots if you pour a little on, leave it for a minute or two and then clean it up with a tissue or  hand vacuum.

It's a Cinch

I don't have too much experience with cock rings. So far I've tried the little crappy vibrating jelly ones, one much more robust rubber one Lexi won at the Folsom Street Fair, and the Leather Cinch, generously provided by Bliss Connection. So far the Cinch is the only one that I would consider using at all regularly, though of course each of the kinds mentioned have their own benefits and detriments:

The little vibrating ones, like the Screaming Orgasm, are the easiest to put on, since they're super stretchy. The problem is that their stretchiness means they don't do one of the main jobs of a cock ring, which of course is basically to cut off the blood flow coming out of the penis. Also, they vibrate. I'm sure some people love that, but I've never really liked vibration (at least in that area). And since the vibrator stays right at the base of the penis, if there's any in-and-out action at all it doesn't really do much for Lexi except frustrate her.

The big rubber one doesn't vibrate (which is good for me), and does restrict blood flow quite effectively. But mostly, it's really a pain in the ass (or pain in the dick, I guess), to put on. I had to try several times over a few days before I finally could. I guess there's a technique to it, and probably some lube would have helped, but I guess it's not something I'm into enough to be willing to have it be a huge production every time.

The Cinch, on the other hand, is easy to put on and take off, since it's basically just a leather strap with a snap on it, and since it's adjustable it can fit pretty much anyone. Unfortunately, the snap and cinch mechanism are also the cause of one of the Cinch's biggest problems, namely that they have some little corners that feel sort of pokey and uncomfortable. And since it is so easy to adjust and put on and take off, it gives a very beginner/amateurish feel, but, then again, I am a beginner in this area, so that makes sense.

I have to say, though, that I guess I'm not a big fan of the feeling of a circulation-restricted penis in general. To me it feels like it becomes both more sensitive and less sensitive at the same time. Since it becomes larger and more veiny it rubs more, but for me somehow it feels like it also has some kind of desensitizing coating on it, almost like wearing a condom.

On the other hand, it looks good. At least, if you like super hard, veiny cocks. And really, who doesn't?

Masturbation scavenger hunt

One summer in college I went to live with my grandparents. I told my previous boyfriend (who I still on occasion fooled around with) that I was worried it would be a sexually frustrating summer. I happened to be very wrong about that prediction, but out of the kindness of his heart, and enjoyment of getting to have a hand in my sexual exploits, he made a game for me. The game consisted of 13 different places or ways I was to masturbate. If successfully able to accomplish 10 of them, he would give me a prize.

That summer ended up being filled with wild sex on the beach, in cars, bedrooms, hot-tubs and pools. I actually barely having time to cross off items on the list, what with my 8-10 hours of anatomy class in the daytime and my "anatomy classes" at night. I don't think I can recall all of the details about what each task entailed, but there certainly were some memorable ones.

I think the first item that I was able to accomplish was masturbating while driving. I'd never thought of doing it before, but quickly found it to be a pleasurable distraction while I was stopped at red lights. For the first time I was begging the lights to stay red just a little longer.

It wasn't long before I figured out how to cross off another item on the list - masturbating in class. Our chairs were barstool style and at the beginning of a test I placed an eraser on the chair, under my crotch and slowly rocked on it. This did not help my speed with completing the test, but it did make it more enjoyable.

Scanning the list of options, I remember thinking that the idea of using a non-sexual object for masturbating sounded like a good challenge. Sure I'd heard of vegetables for that purpose, but what if my grandma saw me sneaking my used cucumber out of the house, to the garbage and asked if she could put it in the salad that night. I decided against food. I grabbed 6 pencils from my backpack and put them inside a condom. It actually felt pretty good after being on a sex hiatus for about 4 months.

That break from sex was soon to end though and with it I was able to check off another item - masturbating with another person present. I rekindled a friendship with a childhood buddy during that summer and one night we went out for a drive to the coast. As we sat in his truck overlooking the moonlight ocean, sexual tension that had been building peaked and our lips met. Our hands eagerly groped. When his fingers started moving down my pants, I stopped him and said "let me show you what I like."

I unzipped my pants, interlaced our fingers and started playing with myself. It wasn't long before his fingers joined in. We took turns me leading with the tempo, position and pressure and him continuing when my fingers got tired. It was the easiest times I've ever had reaching orgasm with external digital stimulation alone.

The final memorable task was public masturbation to orgasm. I interpreted this to mean anywhere where someone might see me. And sure I'd done that already, but I tried to think of somewhere that would be somewhat embarrassing if I were caught. I decided on the bench on my grandparents' front porch. I sat there with a book on my lap and put one hand down my pants. Not more than a few minutes after starting the mailman walked up to deliver the mail on the porch. I stopped, said hi, fairly certain he hadn't seen anything. After he left I went back to the task and reached orgasm before anyone else came up to the porch, though several people did walk by on the sidewalk on both sides of the street. I'm pretty sure it would have been hard to tell what I was doing.

After completing items on the list and recounting the incidents to my ex-boyfriend he gave me the prize - a lovely CD (OK by Talvin Singh) that I still have and listen to from time to time.