Some people keep their private parts private. I think this is fine. It's not as if I go flaunting mine everyday. But private doesn't have to mean unattended to. I have learned how to accessorize and beautify that area, just as I do with the rest of my body.
With the dawn of the feminist movement women seemed to learn how to enjoy their vaginas in a sexual and natural sensual manner. But what if women want to adorn their vaginas? The belief seems to be that altering the look you were born with would mean you were buying into male stereotypes and fantasies and objectifying women.
I like the look of a dolled up and perhaps even modified genital region. I have thought about this a lot. Perhaps I am so indoctrinated into our culture that I like what I've been told men like. But there is also the possibility that this is just what I enjoy looking at and having. I like the look of hairless crotches, of skimpy underwear and jewelry (yes, down there).
Either way, I decided to make my private parts look a way that I find beautiful. I got a horizontal clitoral hood piercing. It doesn't make me have orgasms in public or make the area more stimulated, but it does look good to me. I bought underwear that make me look and feel sexy. I had a labia reduction surgery, though that was not purely for aesthetic reasons. I have also been getting laser hair removal. I am getting what is referred to as a Brazilian extended, meaning that they remove all the hair down there, even on the butt. I did decide to save a large "landing strip" of hair though so I can still have the choice between some hair or no hair. The best part of the permanent hair removal for me is being put on a bikini and not having to think about whether or not I remembered to shave.
All of these changes make me feel prettier even if others don't see them. And sure most of these things also appeal to my husband. I might not have made these changes (especially the permanent ones) if he didn't also enjoy them, but pleasing him was not my primary motivation and thus I see myself as a new breed of feminist.
I saw a few comments on the BlissConnection facebook page about how I use the term vagina when I should be using vulva. I am a birth doula and have a masters degree in another medical profession for my day job.
ReplyDeleteYes, I know that the term for the female genital region is vulva and just the canal is the vagina. But for some reason I find that word as appealing as the word vomit. Perhaps it is because my parents both being doctors used it when I was a child and thus made it completely asexual. I think of vagina as my version of slang for the area, the word that makes it seem sexy. I understand that this could possibly make me sound uneducated.
I am confident in my own knowledge and don't feel I have to prove it. I will however, in the future, try to explain terms I am using so as not to provide misinformation.
I just wish I could afford to do the laser surgery. I have always hated pubic hair. Also, I have personal trauma PTSD and don't like being touched there, so even though I want and need surgery on my labia (which got ripped during childbirth, making one labia come out to the world saying hello all the time...so ugly), I will probably never do it, regretfully. But I hate doctors.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, your vulva looks absolutely lovely, and I envy what you are doing.