Earnest in bed

You know how fortune cookie sayings are always better if you add "in bed" to the end of them?  Well what if you applied that same principle to an Oscar Wilde play?  Several years ago an acquaintance-by-reputation of mine decided to explore that idea, and sent out a casting call for  a softcore photocomic (or as those in the know would say, a "fumetti") of The Importance of Being Earnest. The idea was to bring any real or imagined sexual innuendos to the surface, and make good porn.

My husband and I auditioned to be two of the main characters and were soon getting measured for elaborate costumes she was making.  The people initially cast as the other two main characters were individuals that she had found through craigslist.  While I had no particular problem with them, the idea of touching their genitals and them touching mine, as the FAQ for the project stated, was less than exciting.  That problem solved itself over the next few months as they both dropped out of the project for different reasons.  While this left our fearless leader without two main characters, she was able to wrangle up a married couple of her friends at the last minute.  These individuals were not close friends of mine, but I knew who they were (we went to college together), and found them both to be attractive.

The project was shot over three weekends.  I was nervous about my intimate scenes and of course the girl/girl scene was the first thing shot on the first day.  We started with a couple pictures of us sitting close together and then it was right into kissing and then heading down south.  What a first day, and what an introduction to this woman who I had only met in passing before this project.  Amazing how a week later I would have considered her and her husband great friends--and probably more.

The second week I was barely in the shoot so I got to spend time hanging out, helping with makeup, and watching my husband and the other main man make out.  It was so hot!  Exactly the stuff my fantasies are made of.  I also spent time on the front steps smoking cloves with the other woman and talking, which ended up being one of my fondest memories.

By the third weekend everyone was very comfortable with each other.  We had a sleepover between the two nights of photographing on location, at the makeup artist's house (which was also the set for the shoot that weekend).  I was no longer nervous about the sexual scenes as I had been in the beginning. In fact, I wished I could do that first day over so it could look better and be more fun to do.

I did get to get spanked , masturbate, and have sex for the camera that third weekend.  And I got to watch titillating scenes with others who were comfortable with me watching.  I was sad to have it end, but I was also exhausted.  We had been shooting from early morning to sundown and that last weekend had been so hot.  I had been dressed in victorian clothing (when I wasn't naked) and all the layers (including a tight corset) in the hundred plus degree heat gave me a real live case of "the vapors" on our final day of shooting.  The vapors are often thought of as a woman swooning against the side of a couch, a symptom of hysteria.  And as I just read, were sometimes treated by use of a vibrator under the care of a doctor.  And did you know vibrators were available as household electronics nine years before vacuum cleaners?  Beautiful!

Ok, so back to the vapors.  I started acting weird - saying I was dizzy, hot and laughing a lot.  Then I tried to pull myself together but kept feeling funny, and finally passed out.  Everyone quickly helped get my corset loose and all my clothes off.  I've never been undressed so fast or by so many people.  I felt better almost immediately and did not require the care of a vibrator carrying doctor.

The end of the photoshoot also meant the end of dating the other couple since they returned to their home in a different state.  This may have been the saddest part, as ends of relationships (as I then thought it would be) make me melancholy.  But the relationship has not fully ended and the friendship has continued to grow.  Also, now that The Importance of Being Earnest is in print I can look my copy whenever I want to see all of the exciting on-camera things that happened that summer.