Wait, I thought eggs come out of females...

Hi Folks! Joe Larkspur here, always ready to pitch in and help, and always ready to share my opinion with the world. In this case Lexi did indeed need help, since in order to try out this toy effectively she was, shall we say, lacking certain essential equipment.

The Egg is a male masturbation sleeve from the Japanese company Tenga. This is their budget toy, at $6 a pop (their fancier "onacups" can be more than twice as expensive), but since they're supposed to be single-use that could quickly add up.

There are six different styles of Egg, with different kinds of bumps and ridges on the inside. I tried the "Silky", which has some low-key ridges. It looks like some of the other styles may be a little more aggressively textured, so if this seems like your thing you'd probably want to try them all and see which one works the best for you.

Ok! enough preliminaries. On to the actual experience…
Once I had taken a couple strokes with the Egg, my first thought was, "wow, this feels almost exactly like a vagina." Unfortunately, that sensation only lasted for a couple minutes. There were two things I noticed that may have contributed to the decreased sensation. One is that the lube started to get pretty sticky (oh yeah, each egg comes with a little packet of lube, which is both necessary for the Egg to work at all and, for $6, expected). I guess you could use a different kind of lube if you wanted, but I'm a cheapskate. If they give me some lube, by golly that's the lube I'm going to use. The second problem was that the egg got pretty stretched out after only a short time. That may have been because of how massive my wang is, but it's more likely that I was just using it wrong. Looking back at the pictures (what, you think the only pictures of Lexi and her toys are the ones she posts here? And turnabout is fair play, after all…), it looks like I had a lot of the egg material bunched up around the base of my penis, and the end was really stretched out. I guess this makes sense for me, since I prefer stimulation lower down on my shaft while masturbating. Or maybe I just needed more practice. Anyway, the point is that after a few minutes the quality of the sensation really started to go down for me (even after adding more lube).

Another problem for me was that years of experience have taught my subconscious that the primary position in which to expect pleasure is lying face-down, and it turns out that that makes it difficult for me to really get into it while lying on my back/sitting up/etc. At least in my few bumbling attempts, I could not get the Egg to work in a face-down position. Again, it might be possible with practice, but it seemed pretty tricky for a first-timer.

On the up side, there is a tighter ring around the base of the Egg that does a pretty good job of keeping the lube from leaking out everywhere and making a mess, even if you are lying on your back. I guess if you were to actually cum inside it it would be even more useful but, as you might expect given all the negative stuff I've said so far, I didn't get to experience that for myself.

I sort of hate to rag on it so much, because the initial experience was pretty nice, and I'm sure with some practice you could keep that real-vagina-feeling going on for longer. But for me, at least, one of the best features of actual real vaginas is that they have women attached to them, so I think that even if I became an effective Egg user it still wouldn't quite do it for me.